hi readers~ sorry for a month without any posts. i have to go to my school and starting new grade as the last graders on high school, 12th a good news because i've done my 11th years but a bad news because i feel i'm not that ready to finish and start something new. i know i've been on my safe side for a long time for about 12 years and yes i know i do not have those huge mental to face another part of growing up. i just err not ready yet, but i will and i am.!
sorry for greeting you with such a sad post but i promise you a grateful post after this one, i just need to share.
i meet someone new from my school, my junior he kind of badboy with cute face just like another badboy. i know i won't let myself fall for him, so i'm not. I give him chances but i know that's just too much. i let him in too far, i let me fall too deep. i know it's in short time and yes my feeling is not that big, but yes (
hell you) i have a
crush on you.! a medium one. i know i can't tell lies and i know his mouth full of potion words so, i think i'll give him a chance. but, no no wait~ he meet another girl from his class, start making conversation behind me while he promise me almost anything. almost anything means anything a complete package of being boyfriend of mine. but rules are rules~ badboy&playboy kinda same and he's the complete package of it.i tell him i do
have a crush on him but he tell me
he love that girl much bigger than me, i laugh for my stupidity. i won't lie
i hurt but i'm not even crying because i know it's not even a love, a real one of feeling i've had before. so yes i kinda hurt but it's okay i just need to tell the world like i always do then i'll give my best smile to them :) or some laugh for them. :D
i heal myself,i do thanks God for this thing because i know, i even know better that God loves me and God just want to save me from another painful time. :) so yes, that door? i've close it
again with such a copper-iron big door with many securities i know i'm not ready yet for any relationship :D
xxx,MQ
