Wednesday, November 28, 2012

hai.. lately i'm sorry... :)

so yes my lastest post in on september... readers need explaination.. *umm i guess :p i've been busy.. busy for school and relationship... :p
now i'm 12th grader and yes this is November.! which means 4-5 months more i MUST go to college and being a college girl._. sometimes it feels like i'm not well-prepared to go far from home, but once again it's a must. whatever it may take it just have to be done. :) so here's my random thought  i've been write last month. oh and yes by the way my laptop has been stolen by someone and yes i don't have any suspect who it was and i miss it lately because all of my work for last 3years are inside it and i don't have any backup :((((((( sorry. it's just hard. haha. sorry and thankyou for reading readers :3 leave a comment please... MQ.

Rintik hujan,cahaya matahari,ketawa22 kecilku dan tingkah22 konyolmu yang harus aku cukupkan untuk diriku sendiri.. :) Tidak ada yang pernah membuat janji. hanya saja aku juga tidak mengerti, mengapa langkah tidak terhenti untuk waktu selama ini. :) Yang aku tau aku menikmati petasan22 kecil yang meletup22 dalam hatiku.. aku mengingat setiap candaan darimu bahkan aku mengingat setiap ekspresi wajahmu. Menakutkan bukan? How I obsessed with you?
Aku tidak pernah berdiri. Hanya angin dan kobaran22 mulut itu tidak cukup membuatku bergeming. Aku pernah pergi,jauh, bahkan sempat tidak menatapmu tapi kamu yang menepuk bahuku sambil tersenyum. Senyum yang selalu aku cinta. Penyejuk hati. Saat itu juga aku berhenti. Mungkin sempat berjalan sedikit,tapi apadaya entah energi macam apa yang kau gunakan yang membuat punggung ini serasa berat membawaku kembali kembali lagi menatap kedua matamu dan berhenti ,aku tetap berdiri tenyata. Aku saja yang tidak pernah tau. Bahwa aku tidak pernah bisa lupa.
Hai...
Sapaan itu terhenti lagi.. oh kali ini waktu tidak membeku untukku.
Kau tetap berjalan dengan angkuh dan gaya meninggalkan aku yang tadi sempat memberhentikan sapaan.
Yaa aku.. selama ini telah selalu berusaha mengumpulkan energi untuk menyapamu atau sekedar melihatmu dari kejauhan. Memalukan.
Aku selalu sarapan dengan teratur bahkan kalau dihitung pun kalori yang aku kumpulkan akan cukup untuk 8-10 jam ke depan. Tapi? Hanya dengan kamu dan seluruh aura yang kamu bawa di lorong pagi ini membuat lutut sudah tidak kuat menopang rongga dada yang sesak dengan bunga-bunga warna-warni. Bodoh.!
Aku kadang tidak mengerti kenapa... aku yang kata semua orang adalah wanita yang cukup berani mengambil tindakan di depanmu? Hanya bisa berdiri lemas.. dan menikmati kebekuan waktu yang aku pahami untuk diriku sendiri. Mungkin kamu tidak pernah tau ketika aku memperhatikan cara berjalanmu, jadwal pelajaranmu,merk tas,sepatu dan parfum mu atau bahkan hanya sekedar bunyi langkahmu yang aku hafal dan aku nikmati. Aku diam-diam dengan penasaran mengagumimu. Aku diam-diam dengan perlahan mulai mencintai tiap detil kecilmu. Senyummu, suaramu, tawa khas mu, wangi parfummu dan kelembutan tanganmu. aku menikmati semua itu lalu tersenyum-tersenyum kecil mengetahui betapa bodohnya aku ketika berhadapan denganmu.
Andai... kamu membiarkan aku menyelesaikan kalimatku, membiarkan dirimu berhenti sejenak mengobrol denganku tentu waktu akan berhenti lagi untukku dan aku memiliki beberapa menit berharga yang aku simpan dalam chip-chip otakku.

lalu di suatu hari yang cerah. aku datang dan mengenali sesosok dengan seragam rapi itu.. ya itu kamu.. berdiri dengan aura yang membuatku nyaman, aura yang tidak dimiliki orang lain.
hai..
kali ini waktu membeku dan gravitasi bertambah 10 kali lipat. aku kikuk.
*errr... hai* hanya itu? bukankah sebuah jawaban yang sangat bodoh dari orang sepertiku?
"i've been waiting for you.. yuk masuk kelas bareng.. udah telat kan ini?"
jika aku diijinkan pingsan. saat itu pula aku ingin pingsan. masa bodoh dengan pikiran kenapa,kokbisa dan siapa. dan sapaan itu yang memulai segalanya.. aku,kamu,kita

Friday, September 21, 2012

catatan kecil untuk orang-orang seperti kalian..


sudah berapa lembar kertas fiksi dengan kisahkisah yang kau tuliskan di dalam pikiranmu? sudah berapa orang yang melanggar kisahkisahmu? sudah berapa orang yang berjalan berbeda dengan kisahmu? sudah berapa kali kau kecewa dan menangis karena cerita fiksimu tidak berakhir seperti yang kamu paksakan?

lembaran kertas fiksi dan boneka-boneka permainanmu itu bukan hal yang patut  kau banggakan,teman.. kau boleh ciptakan ceritamu sendiri, kau boleh diam seharian di dalam kamar dan bermain dengan boneka tokohmu. hanya saja aku ingatkan.. hijaunya rerumputan di dalam kotak permainan yang kau tentukan jalan permainannya tidak sehijau dan tidak sesegar rumput di luar sini teman, :) bau tanah nya pun lebih harum bau tanah di luar sini. kotak permainanmu itu memang aman, di dalam kamar dengan penerangan minim pun memang aman,teman... sangat aman.

hanya saja kamu harus tau kehidupan diluar sini jauh lebih indah dari yang kau buat teman. jalani saja hidupmu kali ini tanpa harus berpikir mau jadi apa tanpa harus memaksakan kehendak, karena kamu dengan box permainanmu itu hanya akan jadi dunia semu yang bahkan kamu sendiri tau, tidak akan pernah terjadi. lalu untuk apa? untuk apa bertahan memainkan dan menulis jalan ceritamu sendiri? bukankah kau pun tau, Tuhan ada.. Ia yang Maha-Mengatur, Ia sudah menciptakan cerita terindah untukmu hanya tinggal kamu yang meyakini bahwa ceritamu berakhir indah.

cobalah sesekali keluar kamar sempit mu itu, berjalanlah satu dua langkah jika kau tidak berani apakah ada yang mengancammu? bukankah lingkunganmu sudah aman teman? coba beranikan diri lagi berjalan kali ini turuti hatimu, pergi sejauh yang engkau mau. minumlah air-air sungai di bawah kakimu, makanlah buah-buah di atas kepalamu.. jangan takut.. berjalanlah dengan keyakinan Tuhan ada, berjalanlah dengan dzikir kepadaNya dalam setiap nafasmu. bukankah itu indah? bukankah rasa gelitik rumput pada kakimu itu senyaman menciptakan alur ceritamu teman? bukankah air sungai yang masuk tenggorokanmu selega kau melenyapkan orang secara semu dalam ceritamu teman?
mana singa yang selama ini kau takuti? eh lihat dia mendekat dengan jinak.. ulurkan tanganmu ulurkan tanganmu dan rasakan betapa halus bulu singa itu? ancaman apa yang kau takutkan kawan? cobaan itu pasti datang, cobaan itu ada dan aku tau kau pun pasti sudah cukup kuat untuk menghadapinya. untuk apa ketakutan dan menciptakan kisah fiksi mu sendiri?

nikmatilah keberadaanmu di luar, nikmatilah dan pahami bahwa sesungguhnya cerita yang diciptakan Sang Maha Kuasa jauh lebih indah dari cerita cerita dalam lembaran fiksimu.

aku pernah dalam keadaan seperti kalian, menciptakan cerita di luar kemampuanku tapi aku berhenti dan membuka pintu itu, kini box permainanku sudah aku simpan rapi dalam lemari tua ku yang berada puluhan ribu kilometer dari aku sekarang :) aku masih sering membuat cerita-cerita fiksi itu di dalam pikiranku dan membiarkan Sang Maha Pembuat Cerita menjalankan tugasnya.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

try once.. then Allah slap my face.! in hard way.!

so today i decided to not come in my extraclasses that i "should" take. but i choose to rest and sleep :3 because i'm tired. long story short my parent wake me up but i won't leave my lovelybed so they surrender (well i think they are). next, they take me to our dining room table to have a conversation with, they "slap my face" they told me that i wasn't supposed to act like child like i have done this afternoon.
it's kind of a boring things to do for you. but remember my word it would give you bright way for what you really want to be.! it's better take the extraclasses BEFORE everyone get to their favourite college then take extraclasses AFTER everyone get into their favourite college. am i right?
and yes i shed some tears~ but my father's right :)
i regret nothing, i get my sleep time and get my hard lesson from Allah through my parent :) that's make me thanking Allah much much more :3
thankyou again readers~
xxx,MQ

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

a promise to keep

be grateful. because "every day may not be good but there is something good in every day".

so have you count what's good in this day? i have seven things so far from this week :)
1. first day of August.!! i made promises to my friend to stop congratulating me "failed anniv" at every 2nd of every month and he's agreed :) i do this because i know enough i'm moving up \m/
2. second day of August.! well nothing special but hey.! it's Thursday~ another day and it'll end up weekend\m/
3. third day~, friday~ another day to wear hijab at school and go to Primagama course. oh i remember.! i found a fast way to done a mathematic problem. it's an amazing feeling and of course because it's Fridaaaaay\m/
4. Saturday? what can i say? everyone love this day :) i spend my time with @arriiida and nanda visiting one cafe to another one just to spend hour to hour, chatting and laughing. :)
5. sunday. no comment.! i spend myself sleeping~ and i got my chance to ride my parent's car :0 eventhough i have a driving license but my parents still not allow me riding their car so i still have to practice and prove it to them, but it's okay i'm enjoying every second of my time inside their car :3
6. mon(ster)day. i may hate this day but there's always something good in every day.! yerp\m/ i understand a pre-chapter of integral from mathematics yeah~ and i'm solving some math problems~ :) another good news from my brain *thankyou brain :*
7. t(w)ues(ter)day~. haven't see a good things yet. but what i knew is i still have ability to write a poem an old one from Indonesian culture and that's not that bad. here it is~

"buah duku dan buah kenari
sayangnya yang dicari buah manggis
berkicau burung pagi hari
menyapa mentari dan gadis manis

hari lebaran pasti baju baru

eh yang jualan ternyata kembar
gadis manis itu bermata biru
duduk sendiri di teras kamar

mencari kelapa malah beli parfum

wangi badannya tetapi lapar perutnya
menatap mentari sembari tersenyum 
namun ada yang ganjil dalam pandangannya

budi diam sambil menatap pintu

menunggu rona merahnya pipi dan kerlipan mata
menatap sayu mata gadis itu
pada pemulung sampah yang kumal di jalanan kota

kalau tidak bosan pastilah juga jenuh

menunggu dia yang tak kunjung ke kota
perlahan air mata gadis manis jatuh
tersayat hati menatap realita" 


good things come from heart not brain. you can see and learn but whatever it is,it's sound from your heart
thankyou again~ :3 xxx,MQ

Sunday, July 29, 2012

sorry for look like i'm so desperate

hi readers~ sorry for a month without any posts. i have to go to my school and starting new grade as the last graders on high school, 12th a good news because i've done my 11th years but a bad news because i feel i'm not that ready to finish and start something new. i know i've been on my safe side for a long time for about 12 years and yes i know i do not have those huge mental to face another part of growing up. i just err not ready yet, but i will and i am.!

sorry for greeting you with such a sad post but i promise you a grateful post after this one, i just need to share.
i meet someone new from my school, my junior he kind of badboy with cute face just like another badboy. i know i won't let myself fall for him, so i'm not. I give him chances but i know that's just too much. i let him in too far, i let me fall too deep. i know it's in short time and yes my feeling is not that big, but yes (hell you) i have a crush on you.! a medium one. i know i can't tell lies and i know his mouth full of potion words so, i think i'll give him a chance. but, no no wait~ he meet another girl from his class, start making conversation behind me while he promise me almost anything. almost anything means anything a complete package of being boyfriend of mine. but rules are rules~ badboy&playboy kinda same and he's the complete package of it.i tell him i do have a crush on him but he tell me he love that girl much bigger than me, i laugh for my stupidity. i won't lie i hurt but i'm not even crying because i know it's not even a love, a real one of feeling i've had before. so yes i kinda hurt but it's okay i just need to tell the world like i always do then i'll give my best smile to them :) or some laugh for them. :D


i heal myself,i do thanks God for this thing because i know, i even know better that God loves me and God just want to save me from another painful time. :) so yes, that door? i've close it again with such a copper-iron big door with many securities i know i'm not ready yet for any relationship :D

xxx,MQ

Friday, June 22, 2012

my sweet 17th ~('o'~)

June 22nd 2012 :D  begin with this


at this day i get my final report for my semester :) and alhamdulillah i'm on 7th from 34th :D not just that this day i'm on my 17th and yes i celebrate it with eat and pray together at the orphan foundation. i celebrate it with some of my bestfriends :) and how it feels too awesome to talk with :) so here's some picture from this day :3




i wear uptown girl t-shirt, unbranded penguintailskirt, unbranded hijab ._.
and here's what my friends give to me :D
with my little brother, we called him curly boy :3 lol~
i love all the gifts :D it's all what i want. once again Alhamdulillah and i hope i'll be better this year aamiin.
thanks again for reading.
xxx,MQ

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

happy birthday my one and only father :D

at first i was piss off because he push me to eat vegetables and fruits. He push me to eat it even if it's bitter. He told me if i didn't want to eat veggies i'll have many gray hair as he have, but i don't mind because it's not a big deal for me. Now? i know he's right i got an inflamed on my large intestine because i eat veggies rarely, it's hurt so bad and i know my father was right. The doctor said if i still didn't want to eat veggies, sooner i'll get inflamed on appendix and get an operation. I cried and realize what he said was right, so from now on i would like to eat veggies and fruits because i'd like to see my parents have the bigger smile than today seeing my success. aamiin :D
and the last
he's the first gentleman i've ever know.
happy birthday my father, i love you :*



Thursday, June 14, 2012

i love moustache :{D

*moustache here stand for a cute image that look like a mustache. not the real mustache*
my love to this image start when i see this meme on 9gag
this meme always appear and i start loving the shape of this cute moustache~. gaggers keep talking this meme and showing post about this "moustache" *i guess you know how to read this* ._. 
then, yesterday when i open "kawanku" magazine one of Indonesian teenager magazine i saw an article "an ode to le moustache" it's show the readers about how to make a moustache canvas bag. i feel my creativity nerves on my body start pushing me to do it so i start with:
- take my white and orange plain bag
- take acrylic paint (black)
- take a little brush
- a pencil

the steps are :
- draw moustache and write "le moustache" on the bag with pencil
- if you see it's good enough than take a brush and paint it with acrylic paint
-slowly but sure give your bag a cute ending. i give mine writing of "like a sir"
-that's all.! wait for your bag to get dry and it's ready to use :{D 

here's mine:
i made mine from old backpack and handbag :{D. is it cute? :{3 thankyou "kawanku" for inspiring me.

nb. pssssst photo of mine using one of this will catch up

thankyou again readers.
xxx,MQ.

ARE YOU GODDESS OR SOMETHING?


people make mistakes, deal with it. i make mistakes, you too. nobody perfect and you're not a God. stop judging,spread love. everyone is a beauty queen in their own way and you have no right to judge it.!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

bitches~ day out._.


so long readers~ :D
today i just suprised my old friend~ @nandsafira with cake and gifts :)
we celebrate it late actually because we want look like we forget.
so this is i'm saying Fira happy birthday and wish for her the best that she could get :) aamiin

then i've a supriseeee~ ~('o'~)
after celebrating fira's we go to my house. at my house we pray and reading my magazine while i'm watching gossip girl, then they start entering my room and sitting on my bed. my room isn't big enough it's just 3x3 metres, so it's too small for 5 of us inside there. some of them sleeping and some others reading._. what's so sad of us is one of us go home earlier because she have to go home after magrib._. you missed it nggi.!!

Then the mess start~ *black metal song backsound*
they start with reading my old messages on my phone. hacked my twitter account both from phone and laptop. here's some of the mess._.


they tweeted more than 20 in less than an hour what an achievement.! -,- *standing applause*

we continued with talk whatever we want and tweet whatever they hear from me, taking picture with all of those crazy and silly act. here's some of them :3
it's so mess up after they left my necklaces on my bed, magazine all over my room, perfume and roll on on my bed,laptop and handphone,camera ._. completely a mess.!!



well, call me urban but i regret nothing :D this is the best night i've been through this few days after exam and i looooooveee them as deep as the deepest trough in the entire world :D

dear girl,bitches~ i regret nothing tonight. Happy birthday Rista Nandya Safira you've been shared a really good night with us all.! big hug,kisses.
XXX,MQ

Friday, June 1, 2012

a good day to start a new month :)

welcome June i glad to meet you again this year big hug as always ({}) June is the middle of the year and it is always be my month :* so i didn't plan for any celebration to start this new month but fortunately my beloved friends @anggindyr accompanied me all day :3 go walk to the cafe, online shopping, watching gossip girl, chit chat, finding flower for school, riding all over the town, being my photographer today and last but not least save me from my no-moveon movement ._.
straight to the point on my no-move on movement, me and anggi sit on a edge of a fishpond (the fishpond near the beach). we start chitchat each other and i realize of a cute boy sitting alone and fishing. i try to look on his face and iknewhisfaceisjustlikemyexthatistilldon'tgetusedtooverhim . we both keep staring at him and sometimes when we caught, we get our eyes move to the other side :p. fishing is boring so i realized some of boys there smoke but the boy that we both keep staring isn't have any of those so i said to anggi, "nggi? even he don't smoke" i feel a little amazed note in my voice. Anggi realized that it's not good for me so she straight said "let's go home" *wait,wait,wait.!? what are you doing?* "saving you.! come on.!" *err, k,agree* and i just realize how sweet she is :p she realized that moveon movement that i want to do will ruin because of this only boy :D haha thankyou anggi~ :3
here's what i wear today :)
another one~

all i wear are unbranded i got my lovely red shoes from Bandung and anggi's headband. i just so in love with that headband :0 
i love the second photo because it's kinda of weird in positive :p as always my mother took the picture,
but here's new~
this picture took by @anggindyr and it's kind of amazing and i love it thankyou anggi~ bighug ({})

and i'll get a week full of final exam, 


your prayer means a lot for me :) please? thankyou hahais:)
still and always, XXX,MQ

Saturday, May 26, 2012

lalala~

so today i heard so many good news from most of all my friends they got into the university they want. while me? still can't guess what's best for me i keep thinking and understanding what i supposed to do, where i have to go after highschool. so because a high point of confused and desperate i search and found that i want to go to business management while i hate economics as hell. business management is my passion so i'll run for it but i need a little more prove that it's the best for me. :)
xxx,MQ

Monday, May 21, 2012

omygosh i'm falling.!

yup so true i'm falling in love :3 deeply and didn't know where it goes  but i enjoy every moment with him and his smile stuck in my brain(like forever~). He thinks he's not even special, but for me? he's as special as the Mars, on fire but a truly troller :D yes,O i'm falling all over again. He's got something that i don't really know what it is but it makes me comfort every time he's with me :) so here~







[Liam]
I've tried playing it cool
But when I'm looking at you
I can’t ever be brave
'Cause you make my heart race

[Harry]
Shot me out of the sky
You're my kryptonite
You keep making me weak
Yeah, frozen and can't breathe

[Zayn]
Something’s gotta give now
'Cause I’m dying just to make you see
That I need you here with me now
'Cause you've got that one thing

[All - Chorus]
So get out, get out, get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is
But I need that one thing
And you've got that one thing

[Niall]
Now I'm climbing the walls
But you don't notice at all
That I'm going out of my mind
All day and all night

[Louis]
Something’s gotta give now
'Cause I'm dying just to know your name
And I need you here with me now
'Cause you've got that one thing

[All - Chorus]
So get out, get out, get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is
But I need that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my mind
And come on, come into my life
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is
But I need that one thing
And you've got that one thing

Woah-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh

[Harry]
You've got that one thing

[Liam]
Get out, get out, get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead

[All - Chorus]
So get out, get out, get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is
But I need that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my mind
And come on, come into my life
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is
But I need that one thing
Yeah, you've got that one thing

if it's not crazy it's not love, XXX,MQ:*

Thursday, May 17, 2012

just an old poems


kilatan cahaya itu datang lagi
membangunkanku secara terpaksa membuatku mengingatmu
lalu sekejap kemudian aku merasakan tubuhku jatuh terngiang dalam sebuah dimensi lain
yang aku lihat gelap.
dengan sedikit cahaya di ujungnya,aku mencoba mengejar meraih cahaya itu hingga...
aku sadar cahaya itu hanya permain otakku yang mengacak memori-memori beberapa bulan terakhir.
beberapa bulan terakhir didampingimu dan tidak
melihat perubahan diriku, melihat perubahan sikapku
nampak seperti seseorang yang kehilangan mataharinya
atau seseorang yang tidak makan berhari-hari

jika ujung horizon itu adalah tempatmu
aku tidak akan mengejarmu lagi,melelahkan.
suatu saat pasti jalanmu juga akan terhenti dan aku akan terus maju meraih horizon yang sama.
aku mencoba menampakkan diri dalam keadaan fisik yang sama
namun seseorang dengan batin hancur remuk di bawah samudra pun bisa terlihat
aku tidak berhenti mengagumimu
hanya berhenti mencoba meraih sesuatu yang berlari dengan kencang meninggalkan kawanannya,bahkan aku bukan termasuk kawananmu.
aku berhenti mencoba ikut berlari mengejar bayang semu itu.
karena aku tau suatu saat kau akan berhenti dan aku akan berjalan ke arahmu.
karena aku yakin suatu saat kamu akan menungguku juga di ujung horizon itu dan menggenggamku berjalan ke arah matahari yang sama beriringan dalam detak dan langkah yang sama aku meyakini itu :)
karena aku sudah cukup lelah dengan aku yang berlari terlalu jauh ini,berlari ke padang hijau yang aku tidak mengerti kemana tujuannya,

yang aku tau aku kan meraih sesuatu yang indah itu :)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

snail choco twist

hello~ Today i decide to go to my teacher's house and finished problems that i've(my class) got in school, i think what i supposed to wear, so? i think my golden shimmer dress will help me compromise with my old chocolate cardigan and my black tight._. and i wear hijab because i will go to my religion teacher. here i am~
do i look more thin? xoxo :p so i wear unbranded hijab, unbranded dress, unbranded tight, unbranded cardigan, my friend's DIY project(DOMO-little bag) and st. yves flat shoes :* i usually have to spent a little more time choosing clothes to wear, but today? it's kinda perfect(i guess)

after finishing problem with my teacher..
i go to the nearest cafe in my town (conato) and buy a snail choco ice cream. Snail choco ice cream is a fried bread that have a quite big hole in them just like the ice cream cone and the hole filled by chocolate ice cream. how sweet~ :9
and then i go home~,but my parents want to go to "pengajian" so there isn't food. then i go to my favourite place to buy fried rice and then buy one._. but before i go home (again) i met my friends and we plan to go to the "smile everyday"(one of cozy cafe too.red) we have a quite amusing moment there and laughter :0 after we get full, we come home and me? now writing this to you all :*

so i'd like to show you some of my pic using this cute choco thing :3

i love the center photo most~ and the left one because i look skinner :p that's all today thankyou for reading again :*
still and always, XXX,MQ

Monday, May 14, 2012

this is what i wear to school pt.2

so long~ and welcome new weekdays :) i supposed to post this the time before~ but._. i never have a quite long time to sit, take some hot chocolate and writing a post about this._. so because tonight i have quite enough time. i'd like to show you this~
i wear a DIY mustache from hamabeads, unbranded belt, unbranded hijab and monol watch._.
on the left side of you,ppl~ my uniform on wednesday and thursday :D it's just like another school at my country this is usually called grey and white uniform because highschool is grey and white era~ :* haha. then the right one is what i wear to school on friday~\m/ maybe you confused,why i use something like scarf over my neck. it's not a scarf it's~
tadaaa~ a hijad :D my school isn't religious based school but we use a hijab every friday, it's show everyone in my town that my school have a religious student :3 Alhamdulillah~ :D
and last but not least on saturday we use scout uniform it's same all around the world so i guess i didn't need to post it because i know you're smart enough to know it~ :D

thankyou for reading again people~,xxx,MQ :*

Saturday, May 12, 2012

G for Gay pt.2/2


22 mei 2011

“thomas.! Kita udah pacaran ya 20hari dan kamu? Sama sekali nggak pernah ngehubungin nggak pernah kasih kabar.! Maksud kamu apasih? Minta putus?”

Hari ini adalah puncak kemarahanku dari baru aku selesai menjawab “iya,aku mau jadi pacarmu”, Thomas tidak menghubungi sama sekali,ditelpon no answer,diajak ketemuan katanya sibuk baca buku. Menyebalkan.!

Thomas hanya duduk santai sembari melihatku lalu berdiri dan memelukku di depan orang banyak dia sempat membisikkan

“dear my one and only France Natasha le Fleur Violette, maybe i can’t understand you or spend a little more time with you, but trust me,this, is only yours and always be yours”

Dalam peluknya aku sesenggukan,thomas benar-benar orang yang kelewat cuek dan dia bahkan tidak pernah bisa menyempatkan waktu untukku walaupun hanya dalam 5menit, aku bisa menahan amarah selama 20hari tapi dengan 1menit pelukannya bisa menurunkan hujan di ladang gersangku.


                                                                                                ****

Kali ini aku ditemani thomas di toko buku,aku mencari buku untuk referensi tugas biografi orang terkenal dan mencari waktu untuk bersama thomas.

“thomas? Bukunya thomas alva dimana ya?”

“tanya mbak-mbak yang jaga aja,aku masih harus cari buku yang lain”

“yaaaah~ thomas? Ayo dong~ “

“ce? Jangan buat aku ngomong untuk kedua kalinya ya?”

“iyadeh aime”

Thomas benar-benar orang yang cuek sudah 10bulan lebih kami berpacaran tapi nyatanya? Dia tetap sama saja,tidak peka.! Buku-buku di perpustakaannya bahkan lebih sering dibuka daripada hatiku yang berdebu dan menjadi dingin karenanya. Diam-diam aku keluar toko buku dan duduk di cafe depan toko buku, toh thomas juga tidak akan sadar aku pulang duluan.

“mbak? Strawberry pancake satu ya? Makasih” pelayan dengan sigap mencatat pesananku dan semenit kemudian dia menghampiriku kembali membawa lemonade.

“lho mbak? Saya kan nggakpesen ini.”

“oh itu dari mas yang duduk di ujung sana mbak” mbak pelayan menunjuk seseorang di pojok sana yang tersenyum manis,matanya sipit dan berbehel dari cara pakaiannya dia adalah seorang model,kulitnya hasil perawatan mukanya pun mulus. Sekejap kemudian dia duduk di sebelahku

“hai,gerrald” sembari menawarkan tangannya untuk berjabat tangan

“oh hai,france”

“oh wow france? Are you from france actually?”

“well,i was born there.” J


Detik demi detik aku lalui dengan sosok baru ini,dia mengajakku mengobrol dan kita benar-benar menyambung satu sama lain. Aku sadar dia sangat pintar menyairkan kebekuan hatiku terhadap laki-laki sejenis dirinya.

Sejak pertemuan dengan gerrald di cafe depan toko buku kesukaan thomas,kami menjadi dekat bahkan lebih dekat dari aku dan thomas.
“ger~ nonton yuk?”

“boleh ce~ tapi bentar ya aku masih latihan pemotretan nih ntar aku jemput ke rumahmu deh~”

“oke ger, kalo’ bisa jangan malem-malem amat ya? Soalnya kalo’ kemaleman takut gakbisa nonton yang jam7,k?”

“k~ habis ini kelar, ma chérie~*”
Gerrald adalah orang romantis dia tau aku sudah memiliki Thomas tapi dia tetap mau berada disisiku,menemani hari-hari sepiku tanpa thomas.
Kedekatan kami hari ke hari semakin menjalar menjadi sesuatu yang lebih dari teman. Lalu pada satu tanggal dia mengajakku seharian bersamanya,seakan membuatku berpikir bahwa akulah satu-satunya yang penting bagi dunianya. Malam harinya dia mengajakku ke bukit bintang.
“ce? Sebenernya aku harus nyatain sesuatu sama kamu.”
“apa ge?”
“je t'aime quand je te vois les yeux, entendre votre voix et toucher votre main. je sais que je ne peut pas admissibles à votre type, maispouvez-vous me donner une chance d'être votre ... étoile dans votrenuit la plus sombre, le soleil dans votre mauvaise journée et celle quiva se réveiller à côté de vous dans la journée le matin de votre 25.**”
I’m speechless dan aku bisa merasakan seluruh bulu kudukku berdiri serempak.
“i can’t. You know that,right?”
“*sigh- lalu? I’ll wait for you” J
Perjalanan pulang terasa terlalu berat untukku, gerrald terus menggenggam tanganku dan sesekali menciumnya. Kegiatan yang dia lakukan membuat perasaanku semakin tidak enak, aku mulai goyah tapi aku tau aku tidak boleh goyah.

                                                                                                ****
Malam ini adalah malam terbaik yang telah kami lalui, Thomas tau bagaimana memperlakukanku selayaknya J dia benar-benar membuatku terbang di langit ke tujuh, kami berjalan menyusuri taman sembari memeluk pinggang satu sama lain.
*brak.!*
“au.! Heelsku patah.! Eh loe.! Cowok rambut coklat.! Diem disana deh.!”
Ini ketiga kalinya lelaki ini menabrakku, kali ini Thomas mengejarnya dan aku ikut berlari-lari kecil dari belakang. Lelaki berambut coklat misterius yang menabrakku dan kadang melihatku dengan tatapan sinisnya itu benar-benar membuatku risih. Aku melihat punggung Thomas terhenti dan nampak seperti terpaku aku mengintip dari belakang punggung Thomas ternyata lelaki berambut coklat itu mendekati seseorang bermata sipit seseorang yang sangat aku kenal, Gerrald. Mereka terlihat bermesraan berdua,saling berpegangan tangan dan bercanda-canda. Thomas sempat emosi dan hampir menghampiri dua orang tersebut tapi aku cukup kuat untuk menahannya dan menyuruhnya untuk tenang sejenak. Dan klimaksnya Gerrald dan lelaki berambut coklat yang kadanf menatapku sinis itu berciuman,mataku nanar melihat itu lalu menarik Thomas kembali ke jalan tadi.
“lho? Nggak dikejer?” Thomas tampak emosi di matanya.
“ah? Buat apa ngejer pasangan gay gitu? Gakguna sayang,udah ayo pulang aja,aku pusing” aku berbohong, aku kira Gerrald adalah lelaki yang sempurna untukku aku tidak menyadari sebelumnya gerrald terlalu feminim untuk menjadi lelaki normal, dia pergi ke latihan pemotretan, dia berpakaian terlalu “tidak normal” untuk laki-laki normal dan bahkan dia menyukai parfum dengan bau citrus-candy milikku. Dia gay,seharusnya aku tau lebih awal.

*my darling

**i love you when i see you eyes,hear your voice and touch your hand. i know i may not eligible to your type but can you give me a chance to be your... star in your darkest night, sun in your bad day and the one that will wake up beside you in the morning day of your 25th.


Monologue


for about 7days far,i get many critics from everyone about myself so i decide to have a monologue with myself about how to get in on an environment or social life. i have such a really bad attitude for adapting because what i believe so far is

 "it's not important what they think about me,as long as i didn't make mistakes to them. it's fine,but if they think i'm a trouble while i'm in silence it's their judgement, not myself."

it's completely true but i found that this sentence not just meant as what i can take with short analyze. It's have a deeper idea. what's that? here are there

* if someone think you're a trouble,well maybe you're for them. It can be your attitude on them (not in purpose) or how you see them. we never know what in someone's heart but we can be mature enough to analyze it. i realize i have so many enemies and i don't care because what i believe so far is just

"they hate me because they don't know me well enough" 

and so far i still don't need them in my life, but someday maybe i will(we never know) :) so if i think "they don't know me well enough so they thought all the negative ideas about me" so why? it is not me,come closer to them and show them who am i really is. :) i have such a huge egoism point and i realize it, it took almost 12years to figure out how to control my egoism.

i am the kind of girl who didn't like to talk to someone that can't get what i am talking about in one chance. i hate to talk to someone like that, but maybe it's my own fault that i don't give clearly idea about what i really thinking about so they can't understand it.


what i really supposed to do are giving a chance for myself to take friendship from all of people i met and treat them same because they're my friends no matter how they treat me because once my friend said
"we'll know it's you,Atika.! after a year and we'll get used by your attitude" and it's my job to get to in environment (without changing myself) because someday maybe i'll need it :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

G for Gay pt.1/2


Tik.tik. kali ini hujan, lagi. Aku duduk termenung di samping jendela kamar sembari menyeduh secangkir coklat panas dan brownies buatanku. Aku merindukan seseorang yang beberapa kali aku temui dan yang selalu menemani hari-hariku. Malam ini aku rasa dia telah mencairkan hatiku.
                                                                                                ****
*brak.! Pyar.!*
“auch.! Ati-ati dong mas kalo’ jalan,pecah kan gelasnya.!”
“aduh,maaf-maaf mbak saya keburu-buru,mari”
Sekilas menatap wajahnya,keren juga rambut coklat berkulit putih.
“ce? Kenapa lho? Kok mecahin gelas segala? Gaksabar nunggu mama?”
“ah enggak ma, itu tadi ditubruk sama cowok gitu gaktanggung jawab lagi langsung ninggal.!”
“tanganmu lo ce~ kegores dalem ini, darahnya nggak santai.!”
“yaudahlah ma gakpapa ayo pulang aja”
“bentar-bentar mama bayarin juga ini gelas yang kamu pecahin”
Ternyata darah di tanganku cukup banyak sampai aku butuh tissue untuk menutupi nya._. aku hanya nyengar-nyengir mengekor mama dari belakang
“jadi barangnya cuman vas kaca sama satu set cangkir ini ya bu’ ya?”
“ohiya sama gelas yang tadi dipecahin anak saya, udah saya scan juga”
“ehm bentar bu’... oh itu sudah dibayar tadi sama cowok sebaya anak ibu’.” Ujar mbak cashier seraya menunjukku, mama sudah “ngeh” kalau itu cowok yang tadi menabrakku jadi ia hanya membayar dan mengajakku keluar menuju mobil abu tua milik mamaku.
                                                                                                *****
“ce~? Bareng dong pulangnya? Yayaya? Sekalian ngafe aku pingin salad nih~?
“ohiya~ ayo deh aku juga mau pancake udah lama nggak makan :9”
Queen dan aku adalah teman dari TK,kami banyak menghabiskan waktu bersama dan rumah kami pun satu kompleks.
“eh bentar een~? Kunci aku,aku taruh mana ya?” aku mengobrak-abrik tas sekolahku mencari gantungan kunci kuning dengan kunci mobil sedan merahku
“manaaaa sih ini.!!” *brak* aku jatuh karena menubruk seseorang
 “maaf-maaf” ujarku sambil masih mencari kunci mobilku hanya sekilas kulihat rambut coklat dan kulit putih (lagi) pasti orang yang berbeda.
“eh sorry ce~ ini kuncimu hehehe._.” queen nyengir lalu memberikan kunci mobil yang ada disakunya daritadi._.
“sorry-sorry tadi loe teledor deh naruh waktu di kantin masa’ ditinggal-tinggalin”
“heheu~ yaudah gakpapa deh,sakit juga nabrak orang tadi mana gue lupa minta maaf,o’on.! udah yuk cuss laper nih pengen pancake”
Aku mulai menyalakan mobil dan melihat ke spion, laki-laki yang aku tabrak tadi masih disana rambut coklat,kulit putih dia membalikkan badan dan melihatku sinis. Ya, itu laki-laki yang sama dari toko pecah belah kemaren.
                                                                                                ****
“ce? Ketemuan yuk~?” chat di hapeku menyadarkanku dari lamunan sekilas tentang cowok aneh yang akhir-akhir ini selalu aku temui kulihat layar hapeku “aime”. Thomas pacarku setahunan ini,dia adalah kutu buku paling “terkenal” di sekolahku. Kami memang jarang jalan bareng karena dia berkutat dengan buku-buku yang dia anggap cewek sejatinya dan aku? Diabaikan bahkan lebih diabaikan dari buku tertua di perpustakaan pribadinya
“paan aime? Males ah,kamu aja main ke rumah?”
“oke”
Aneh seorang thomas the most nerd student in our school mau dateng ke rumah seorang cewek yah yang faktanya adalah pacarnya yang ia hubungi 2minggu sekali. Terlalu janggal tapi aku tidak mau menyia-nyiakan kesempatan dengan memikirkan alasan Thomas aku segera mandi dan mengambil baju santai terbaikku.
“ce~? Thomas udah di bawah tuh~”
“oke ma~” aku berlari-lari kecil untuk menemui thomas,”pacar paling cuek” kata queen, tapi aku sayang :3
Thomas kali ini tampil beda,memakai hem berwarna hitam yang cocok dengan kulit putihnya,rambutnya baru potong dan keliatan fresh. Belum lagi di tangan kanannya setangkai mawar dan tangan kirinya sekotak coklat J dia mendekatiku lalu merengkuhku dan berbisik renyah
“happy anniversary 1st year sayang~”
“mygosh...!!” aku berteriak kecil pipiku memerah dan aku menutup mulutku yang menganga lebar,aku jelas-jelas lupa ini tanggal 2 mei dan yes,this day is our anniversary. Kami menghabiskan quality time together with candle light dinner, sepertinya thomas baru saja menyelesaikan membaca buku romantis karena dia sukses membuat malam hariku lebih indah dari sebelumnya. :3

                                                                                                ****
to be continued. XXX,MQ

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

this is what i wear to school pt.1

hello~ this is what i wear to school part 1~ at mon(ster)day and t(w)ues(ter)day the laziest day of the week~ because it's so faaaaar from the weekend._. and it's so easy after weekend to the mon(ster)day ._. i always have a flag ceremony every monday and at tuesday i'm going to school at quarter past 5 am for get and extra lesson (biology). it's kinda fun in my eternity class :) somehow i enjoyed it while sometime i shed tears for this class :'
i wear all unbranded uniform._. use swatch swatch and nevada black boots~ :* and simple bun
i ever told you right? dear readers~ i have a really messy hair and i love to make bun of my hair because it's simply can make me move without thinking what will happen with my hair._. here it is the bun._.


a little bit confusing if you see it but it's really simple~ and i love it :D so this is what i wear at the first part of week i will post my other uniform~ :D anyway thanks again for reading~
 xxx,MQ

Monday, May 7, 2012

Thursday, May 3, 2012

kartini's celebration\m/

hi~ there again, i just did my kartini's celebration at last may 2nd 2012. in my highschool we did a bazar and final of choosing prince-princess of smansa and of course the girl use kebaya in many colour~ my class colour is chocolate because we are "eternities and the chocolate factory" so here we go
this is my stand golden and chocolate all the way~
this is me wearing unbranded things ._. from head to toe is my mom's own. my make up made by my mom :* my hair is inspired by this white party hair a la serena  thank you youtube :p and i wear soft lens and forget the brand._.v i look like more Chinese,i guess-,- so this all will be photo of me with all of my friends :*
with my lovely big 6._. friends from old times :* left to right: @anamewmew,@nandsafira,@atikazhr,@anggindyr,@hestids,@aneirawr 


with my quatro~ left to right : @arriiida,@zulffani,sinta,@atikazhr
with al~ :D

with ef~(@rennnoo) :D

what a lovely day it was :) while actually i cried over two nights before :p haha but it's worth it~ i'm satisfied,thanks and sorry for everyone if  i made a mistake :) big thanks for my one and only mother :D the greatest women for me :* {} still and always xx,MQ

Monday, April 30, 2012

exbf-bestfriend

so here we go, i'd like to introduce you with some of my best friend,everyday :) from the uniqueness one. exbf-bestfriend maybe you ask who friendzoned who, well i get friendzoned._. because i'm forever alone girl~ \m/ so here he is 
i love this picture much :3 so i'll describe him, he has a red hair,dark skin and cute smile. this smile is the one that remind me of him :) he is a simple boy but deep inside him many pages of novel could write in. he loves paramore much. he's a talented drummer._. he loves jason mraz just like me :3 this boy is still single and pretty available :p but he can't get the one she want so let's pray for him to get the best one he could ever get :) *not me,i'm friendzoned~* aamiin._. wkwk._. he's now waiting for the national exam result and still unemployed(?) well let says it,he's taking a really long break of school as about 4months for waiting entering university, i'm envy him as hell. he's one of 12 first acceleration students at my high school. he has big heart and random thoughts that sometimes help me figure out things :) so thankyou for this boy for always there for me :) ({}) and yes his name is rinaldy firstian, my ef :3

you can judge me and think all of those negative think about "why i post this?" because i have a deal and i didn't like breaking promises as i didn't like waiting._. so that's why._. thanks for reading again
XXX,MQ

Sunday, April 29, 2012

sounds like the '70 is back~ :)

hi everyone, this is my first time to be announcer or master of ceremony outside my school, the theme of this event is old bike so everyone try to look older than they are now. It's a great opportunity and i look good with old fashion so here we go :

do i look that nice? u,u thankyou~
i wear fame ruffles shirt, unbranded skirt, casio watch, kickers shoes, louis vuitton hand bag :* and 2braid :*
i love my ruffles skirt my gosh~ :D so i decide to give you a little bit more detail picture of my ruffles :3
see? it's just that cute :3 and i want another ruffles so i want to sew my self a new one :D if it's done i'll give you the picture._. i don't get the event picture so sorry, but i hope you enjoyed this time :3 thanks for reading~ xxx,MQ

Friday, April 27, 2012

if they said it would never happen i said no

 i've an extremely life such as:

1. "there's no ex-bestfriend" everyone says that there's no an ex-bestfriend. well, i do have an ex-bestfriend because when i trust her with all my heart,she lied and stabbed me from behind. i hurt and forgive her but sorry it's no longer a bestfriendship she's a liar and always be.

2. "making friendship with an ex is impossible" well i making friendship with two of my 4 ex-es ._. it's fun actually :D because i still have them even when we're not in a relationship :)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

so long~ i'm on my middle studying limit._.

hi hello~  i miss my blog as hell.! i didn't have a single free time to open my laptop and write on my blog, not a single second.!
and now? in my my middle time studying limit i decide to write what i've done after 19th of April until today because i guess you all need to know :D so yes,let's get started.!

April 20th 2012
i prepared for a farewell party for my senior class because i'm a member of school organization and i'm the leader of the event part so i HAVE to be there and give all i can to this event. well thanks God i'm arrived home at half past ten pm :) it's okay and well i'm a little bit not satisfied but well i've give my best :)

April 21st 2012
the farewell party. i got so much hugs and tears.! it's such an amazing feeling.!! i can't let them go,i may not have a special relation with them but yes i'll lost them. i shed my tears not shed i guess i cried loudly.! i hug everyone there and give them my "heart apology" so..
so for all of my seniors you're all a star you just need a perfect temperature and age for shine. you set yourself. :) i'll miss you :*
i love them even if they're like that, i'll miss those problems on me with them and i'll remember every laugh that i've share with them. god bless you all,success.!

April 22nd 2012
i'm going out of town. i'm going to SURABAYA.! as my delayed holiday :) and what a wonderful night at my father's friend wedding party so much food and i'm full as hell :D but, i got my problem that night but well i guess it's over now, i may 16th but i'm mature enough for forgiving people.

April 23rd 2012
a shopping day.! i got my first ruffles shirt and a red short i'll upload it but not at this post._.v and yes.! i have a black boots for school. so much win\m/

April 24th 2012
i arrived at my hometown and celebrate my best friend's birthday.! hey hello.! arida fitriana yasmin.! happy birthday dear little girl :) and this is the awkward night ever.! how can? 3 of my 30 in this event at the same time? i shocked and thankful *ups* hahaha._. what a night :)

April 25th 2012
it's today.! nothing happen just me sitting on my bed opening math books and laptop. writing blog in my middle studying limit. because i feel so "genius" opening this book until i don't know how to read._. i feel blind hahaha.

so yes. it's done here. i got a really great days and got my new boy best friend :) it's been a tiring week but it's cool\m/ xxx,MQ

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Monday, April 16, 2012

Javanese + Italian could it be? :p

have i said it? i can cook a little bit :p i'm not in mood eating rice tonight because i feel like i've broke my scale. so i decided eat something "lighter" for dinner tonight ._. (ps. i've eat two kind of food before this dinner at noon) my choice come to my old instant spaghetti on my foodstorage and because my mom has cook a soy sauce chicken for dinner i decided to eat it too because it tastes so good~ as hell.! :9 here's the picture of it.
if i eat this with rice and my mom's sambal i'll get another plate, so i decide no for this time.
i spend 10minutes to boil my instant spaghetti and i hate waiting ._. and while boiling the spaghetti i give a pinch of salt and pepper to make a better taste. after it i strain it and leave it on the plate and give the special sauce~ i've in my house ._. and take one of the chicken and leave it on top of spaghetti~ just like this. . .
my mom's said its Javanese meets Italian~ and my rates for this food from 0-10 is 8 because the chicken tastes so good(my mom's cook) and the spaghetti tastes match perfectly with the chicken :) and i'm just loving it :D and full thanks God :0 Alhamdulillah._.
and i completely full because i closed the dinner with cimory-red grape and a bread with NUTELLA.!!!
hahaha i'm fully thankful and have a fully stomach~ \m/ and yes Javanese can meet Italian and get 8/10 xxx,MQ:*

Sunday, April 15, 2012

i may old fashion and yes this is my first jar of NUTELLA~.!
this just sooooo awe-so-me :0 i puke rainbow._.
hahaha i'm exciteeeeeeed\m/ xxx,MQ :*

Saturday, April 14, 2012

born this way

thanking god for what we have is an easy act but it's forgotten a lot.

Friday, April 13, 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~ @ANEIRAWR

good afternoon, what a day of the new 17th year old  gaaaaaaaal the one and only Azarine Neira Avisha :* {}
i wish as you a longl and happy life :D and at this year you'll be happy as sunshine :) of course wish you shine as sun everywhere with your smile and moreover in someone's heart :D happy sweet 17th~ you've grown up dear~ our little apien~:* love you,xxx {}

my bestfriend's heart is mine too :'

it was going to be a sad post but today i've got two news of two different bestfriend i've got :' so i made this post first it's about my bestfriend Luqman Aji Pratama. he lost his father on April 12th 2012. i may not the eye witness but i bleeds my heart out too :' i love him much and i just can't see him currenty at this situation so becauase i'm a good bestfriend i've to 911-ing my shoulder oh him :) RIP LAP's father,be strong my dearest bestfriend {}

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

teenager

they said we are wild, free and uncontrollable but trust me we're just want to try all of those stuffs and when we want to get out everything seems so right,so we stay like that.

Monday, April 9, 2012

at least money can buy healthiness._.

hello sorry for not posting yesterday,so i decide making a very early post today._. i'm not at school because i'm sick for about this 5days from Saturday but today i feel great :D and i realized something,
money can't buy happiness
yes it can't but it can buy healthiness, yesterday i was went to the specialist child doctor, my doctor since baby, why? because my body can't accept the medicine that general doctor give to me long time ago. there is a doctor in my city a general doctor,when i'm on the first grade of senior highschool i get sick and go to that doctor, but he false analyzing me and when i took the medicine i always get dizzy about three times more.so? my mother didn't want to take me to that doctor anymore, but she want to take me to another general doctor but my father didn't agree. and don't you believe? general doctor cost 2,5$ and my specialist child doctor cost 7$ it's a lot of money :0 but here i am now healthy and ready to face my day \m/ thank's mom,pa :*
xxx,

Sunday, April 8, 2012

i love mommy:*

the most hurt person in the world if you cry is not your friends, bestfriends not even your boyfriend/girlfriend. it's always been her, the one that you live in 9months, she couldn't see her little daughter/son cried for some unimportant reasons :) that's why she get more hurt and more anger when you know why are you crying, that makes you feel like you're not alone in this world, it makes you stronger. thankyou mommy i love you much :*,xxx.